Shh...Did you hear that? It was the sound of my priorities shifting.

13 February 2007

An Unholy Alliance?

I just finished watching an episode of Primetime about polygamy in Centennial Park, Arizona. Like the infamous FLDS enclave of Colorado City, Arizona, Centennial Park is a small community in the middle of nowhere where all of the families practice polygamy. Unlike Colorado City, however, Centennial Park isn't wrapped up in corruption and child abuse scandals. In fact, to illustrate the difference, the Primetime piece began with some footage taken in Colorado City. Or at least it was attempted footage, as almost all of the clips they showed were of angry sheriffs and residents hurling insults at the interviewers and literally slapping the cameras away.

In contrast, the Centennial Park residents welcomed the cameras and were all about showing the world that they are happy and well adjusted, that the children are not abused, and that the wives are not oppressed. Most of the families live in huge McMansions, funded with the help of low-interest loans from church leaders and voluntarily put together by members of the community. The kids go to technologically up-to-date schools, the families watch television, and even their weird Little-House-on-the-Prairie clothing isn't quite as prairie-ish as one might expect. The high school kids all go to dances and listen to hiphop, but none of them are (or at least admit to being) interested in premarital sex. The wives note that they are "placed" with husbands, but they are free to back out if they do not wish to marry the men they are placed with. They are also free to leave the community if they no longer feel it's the best thing for them.

Now, one can absolutely argue (as I often will) that oppressed women who have never experienced any other reality are not likely to reject their oppression. And it is a tenet of FLDS that women must live under the rule of their husbands, they can't wear pants, they're meant to stay at home and raise the children, etc., so one could definitely argue that they're not exactly the most empowered women you'll ever meet. But then again, just as it shouldn't necessarily be the business of wealthy American feminists to go over to Africa and tell tribal women they are doing something wrong in the way they live their lives just because they aren't like "us", maybe we should leave polygamists alone to do their thing too. One of the high school students made a really good point. She said something like, "In the rest of the country, men cheat on their wives and have illegitimate children so often that it's almost normal. Here, men have relationships with multiple women, but they stay with those women and take care of them and the children that those relationships produce. And that's against the law?"

That's not to say I totally approve of everything the FLDS church is about. Their views on race, for example, are appalling. Apparently there is a passage in the Book of Mormon that is interpreted (even still) as follows: "the blacks" are descendants of Cain. Their dark skin is a curse that has been laid upon them as punishment for Cain's murder of Abel. To this I say, "Whaaaa???" Because really, for all these people think they know about Jesus (that he was married...to multiple wives, for example), you'd think they would have realized by now that he was, most likely, black. And if Cain and Abel ever really did exist, they were probably black too. Both of them. It's about geography and melanin. I'm just saying.

But back to what I was getting at. Sure, cults are scary, and FLDS comes off as kind of cultish, and I absolutely think Colorado City should be evacuated and destroyed for all of it's child bride-raping and corruption. But in places like Centennial Park, where people are happy and children are well fed and not abused and women are choosing (or feel that they are choosing) to live this way, is it really anyone's place to stop them? I mean, freedom of religion, right?

Apparently the government does feel it's their place to stop them. Polygamists, if caught, can receive prison sentences for their transgressions. Many polygamists, as anyone who watches Big Love can tell you, get around this limitation by making only their first marriages legal, while having subsequent marriages blessed by the church without getting any legal or judicial bodies involved. Still, that loophole doesn't take away from the fact that plural marriage is very much illegal in this country. In fact, many FLDS followers argue that the one reason the LDS church renounced polygamy 100 years ago is because the rejection of that particular tenet was a requirement for Utah to gain statehood. Since then, the LDS church has become more and more vocal about their separation from FLDS and in their condemnation of polygamy.

Meanwhile, a group of women in Centennial Park have begun organizing as activists for the legalization of plural marriage. They argue that it's their choice and that it's unconstitutional for the government to be involved in a private matter like marriage anyway.

Let's take a moment to think about how familiar that sounds...

They even have marches in DC where they chant things like, "Freedom to Choose" and "Love Makes a Family."

Hmmm...

So here's my batshit crazy idea. What if the gay and lesbian community and the polygamist community joined forces just this once to fight for marriage legalization? I mean, why might the powers that be reject the legalization of polygamy anyway? Because "we" have to protect the "sanctity of marriage"? Because marriage should be between a man and a woman? Because of something to do with the transfer of property from one generation to the next? Because children should be raised by one male and one female? These are the same arguments they use against legalizing marriage for us (gay people), and we already know these reasons are bullshit.

Of course, in order for this to work, the FLDS community would have to get over whatever atrocious lies they believe the Bible or Book of Mormon tells them about homosexual depravity. But at the same time, gays and lesbians would have to get over their assumptions about the depravity and backwardness of polygamists. I have to say, I can't see many of my radical feminist lesbian sisters jumping up to share their rainbow flags with FLDS women and their "sisterwives" (a term that still gives me the willies).

Still, it just might be crazy enough to work, right?

I'm so weirded out by myself right now, I can't even come up with a list to go with this post! Instead, here's a visual to keep you up nights:





4 comments:

nickhellrung said...

Well, that family in the picture sure is doing their part to try and pop out enough kids to pay for the entire baby-boomer generation's social security!

How about this...

The polygamists
+
The gay community
+
TONS of kids that need adoption!

Maybe, just maybe, while you are convincing to get in on the marriage fight with you, you could convince them to wrap it every once in a while and adopt a kid or two? What do you say?

=)

Great entry!

Anonymous said...

great entry...

they have too many babies... maybe we could just take one and nobody would notice?

C

Alyssa said...

That is a great idea! They'd be all, "I could swear we had forty-seven children, but I only count forty-six...oh well! Must've been mistaken!"

Anonymous said...

Hmm... I wasn't with you at first. Then you related polygamists to gays, in the fact that they are both groups just trying to fight for the right to have legal recognition of their relationships. My feelings for legalization of gay marriage are so strong, that I now almost think that polygamy should be legal.

What's interesting is that it is the LAW that is keeping polygamy illegal. Well, it's obviously a law that is keeping gay marriage illegal, but that law is based on church values! Which is absurd. So, hmm... some laws are based on church values, and some church values are not recognized by the law.

This country really makes no sense.